I had a Miscarriage: Part 3

Not every photo taken is shown. I'm uncertain why people decide to share only half their lives on these platforms, but my goal is to always share honesty, the Truth. My struggles and my power.

Know you are not alone in any of this. It is ok to not be ok. It is also ok to seek help when you need it.

If you want to read my full miscarriage journey.  I had a Miscarriage: Part 1.      I had a Miscarriage: Part 2

My story continues... Part 3.

I found myself in the shower bleeding, crying, feeling pain that I only had felt once before in my life. The pain I felt was when I was in labor with my daughter Nova. This pain was pain I knew. And I knew only 1 thing to do when I felt it. Push.

I had to push.

I jumped out of the shower drenched and panicked. I sat down on the toilet and pushed. My body knew what to do. I felt it pass. All the hope all the love I had for this baby passed. My heart hurt my body hurt, I was empty again.

I kept bleeding all day filling up pads and finally decided I should go to the ER to get checked out. They ran every type of test, ultrasound etc and informed me that everything had passed and I should stop bleeding in a few days.

I left the hospital with Drew exhausted and happy that everything was over and I would be physically back to normal in a few days.

Little did I know this still wasn't the end.

2 weeks later I went to my follow up appointment at my OBGYN. I told them I was still bleeding and still in pain. They gave me some antibiotics and said it was probably an infection and they scheduled an ultrasound to take a look at what it may be.

2 days later I got an ultrasound. I was told that I needed an emergency D&C surgery because there was still tissue from the pregnancy that had not passed.

Surgery was scheduled the next day.

Recovery was long. It has taken me a full year to write this journey down. Ending almost on the exact date it all took place last year.

My physical miscarriage lasted for over a month and a half. The emotional loss of a pregnancy lasts for much longer. Bleeding, embarrassment, guilt, pain, trauma and heartbreak.

What women go through to bring life into this world is truly remarkable. I hope sharing this will bring comfort to those suffering in silence and give them strength to tell their own story one day.