Clarifying. The most common communication malfunction.

This weekend I got in a heated argument with my Mother. I love my mother more than any human on the planet but when we started talking about what it meant to "be present" the conversation took a quick turn for disagreementville (Yes, I just made up that word).

During this conversation and the days following I realized that what "being present" means to me is completely different than what it means to my mother. And here in lies one of the most common communication malfunctions. CLARIFYING! Clarifying what something means to the person you are having a conversation/disagreement with.

CLARIFYING is first asking the person what their personal definition is of whatever the conversation is regarding.

In this case the conversation was about "being present" and I didn't CLAIFY with my mom what her definition was of some one "being present".

If I did clarify that, I would have realized that "being present" for my mom meant that some one was physically there with you. That is it.

For me "being present" was someone being there emotionally and mentally. Whether that presence is physical it would depend on the need.

What I realized in this conversation with my mother is that everyone has a unique definition for everything; relationships, parenthood, health and wellness, and yes "being present".